I admire this woman.
check out her site
www.muthahood.com
How to make a baby, apparently its not as easy as you thought.
So I get bored a lot, and I was browsing around the WWW when I found this article…..apparently you can’t just do the deed and get a baby anymore.
There are many thing to buy and do as you try to make a baby. Here are effective tips to jump-start your conception efforts.
Although we’re all for spontaneous sex, babymaking works best when it’s well planned. Print out this list for you and your partner, and use it to jump-start your conception efforts.
What to Buy
____ Basal body temperature (BBT) thermometer.
____ Ovulation predictor kit (OPK).
____ Early pregnancy test (EPT) kit.
____ Water-based (not oil-based) lubricant. ( Maybe I’m old fashioned but is lube really necessary to make a baby? )
What to Do
____ Starting the first day of your period, chart your BBT each morning before you get up.
____ Use the OPK in midcycle — a positive result means you’ll ovulate in 24 to 48 hours.
____ Use your finger to obtain a daily sample of cervical mucus (it will be transparent and stretchy when you’re most fertile). ( EWW, are we getting a little desperate here?)
____ Have sex every other day as soon as you get a positive result from the OPK.
____ Have lots of orgasms during sex — the spasms may draw sperm into the cervix. (Hunny, you are gonna have to kick it up a notch!)
____ After sex, lie on your back with your legs raised for 20 minutes to help the sperm on their way.
____ Use the EPT on the day your next period was due to find out if you’ve been successful.
For Your Partner
____ Avoid tight briefs or pants, which may lower sperm count.
____ Don’t take hot baths while you’re trying to conceive (showers are fine).
____ Have sex in the morning, when semen has its highest sperm concentration. (buttttt he has morning breath!)
____ Use sexual positions, such as missionary or entry from behind, that allow gravity to help the sperm on their way.
____ Don’t use sex toys that may cause trauma to the genital area. (Not to mention sex toys don’t have DNA, well, unless you aren’t washing them…ewwww)
There it is ladies, so try to have fun and lots of orgasms in your non-spontaneous, scheduled, stinky morning baby making routine. Please wash your hands.
Beach Ideas
I and the family are heading to the beach next Saturday, so I thought it important to browse around for some fun beach things to do aside from the regular “build a sand castle” routine.
Here are my favorites from www.familyfun.com :
Ice Cube Necklace
Here’s a bold accessory that’s part no-sweat craft, part personal A/C. Plus, after the ice melts, the owner’s still got a great-looking piece of waterproof homemade jewelry.
| CRAFT MATERIALS: | |
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3 feet of Plastic Lanyard |
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Ice Cube Tray (ours had 14 cube slots) |
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Plastic Beads, Buttons, and/or Colored Plastic Drinking Straws cut into 1-inch lengths |
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Clear Tape |
| Time needed: About 2 to 3 Hours | |
1. Tie a knot in one end of the lanyard. Count the number of ice cube slots in one side of the tray and thread at least 1 bead, button, or straw per cube slot onto the lanyard (larger beads and such work best since they stay in the middle of the cube). Knot the other end of the lanyard when you’re done.
2. Center the lanyard over 1 row of an empty ice tray so that several inches drape over each end. Push the beads, buttons, or straws down into each ice cube slot. To keep the beads submerged when you add water, tape the lanyard to the edge of the tray and between each cube, as shown above.
3. Use a small pitcher to fill the slots with water. To avoid ice “bridges” between the cubes, don’t overfill. Place the tray in the freezer and remove it when the ice is solid. Pop out the necklace, tie it on, then step outdoors to chill in style.
Footprints in the Sand
Capture that barefoot-on-the-beach feeling — and a record of your feet — with this simple plaster-casting project
| CRAFT MATERIALS: | |
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Plaster of Paris |
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Small bucket |
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Freshwater |
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4-inch lengths of string, optional |
| Time needed: Under 1 Hour | |
1. Choose a site to cast your molds — the moist, hard-packed sand near the water’s edge works best.
2. Firmly press both feet into the sand. The prints should be about 1/2 inch to 2 inches deep. (If your child can’t press down that hard, he can use his finger to dig down into the print, following its shape.)
3. Mix up the plaster, according to the directions on the package, so that it has a thick, creamy consistency. Pour the wet plaster gently into the footprints.
4. To make hangers, tie a knot about a half inch in from each end of the pieces of string. As the plaster begins to harden, push the knotted ends into the plaster and let dry.
5. After 20 to 25 minutes, gently dig the footprints out of the molds and brush away any excess sand. Set sole-side up in the sun for about an hour to let harden.
Tiny Bubbles
Tiny Bubbles
You and your child can send clouds of tiny bubbles skyward with this quick trick.
| CRAFT MATERIALS: | |
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Drinking straws |
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Tape |
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Dishwashing liquid |
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Light corn syrup (or glycerin) |
| Time needed: 30 Minutes or Less | |
1. Instead of a traditional bubble wand, use a number of drinking straws bound together with a few pieces of tape.
2. Dip one end of the bundle into a shallow dish of bubble solution (you can make your own by combining 1 cup of water with 1/3 cup of Dawn or Joy dishwashing liquid and 2 tablespoons of light corn syrup or glycerin), then blow through the straws, being careful not to let the solution run down the straws to your mouth.
3. The cluster of straws will produce scores of diminutive bubbles.
Sand Masks
Sea Creature Sand Masks
Make your beach-going experience a memorable one by creating decorative, plaster-cast masks using beachcombed objects. Each mask, formed face down in the sand, hides its identity until unmolded and washed in the sea. No matter what style you end up with — be it surreal or straightforward — your mask will be a personal memento of your seashore visit, one that shows off the personalities of both beach and beachgoer. It’ll also last much longer than a tan.
| CRAFT MATERIALS: | |
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Plaster of Paris from any hardware store (see Tips below) |
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Container large enough to mix water and plaster (see Tips below) |
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Water buckets for mixing and cleaning up |
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Stirring tool for the squeamish (a bare hand works best!) |
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String or wire, about 4 inches per mask, to form wall hangers |
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Beach stuff, such as shells, wood, and sea glass |
| Time needed: Afternoon or Evening | |
1. Start collecting. Found objects are the soul of this project: feathers, small stones, bits of plastic and rubber, bottle caps, seaweed, driftwood, colorful sand and gravel, rope, twigs, leaves, dried bugs, sea glass, pinecones. Just avoid things that might eventually stink or shrink.
2. 2. Dig your mold (see Tips below). This should be five to eight inches tall and about two inches deep (the sides of deeper molds may crumble while you are putting in your objects). We find that smaller faces tend to be the most charming, and by the time you add projecting objects they can get pretty big anyway.
3. 3. Place your objects. You have to think in reverse since you are seeing the mask from the inside out. This is a learning experience for younger children.
4. 4. Mix the plaster. (You can use sea water.) Usually, a thick cream consistency works well. Too runny, and your plaster can seep beneath objects, so that they are hidden when you uncover the masks. Too thick, and the plaster dislodges objects and messes up the mask’s shape. It is not difficult to get the consistency right, but once you’ve got it, fill up as many of the impressions as you can.
5. 5. Pour the plaster slowly over your hand, held just an inch or two above the impression, to break its fall. Go easy–too much will spread out over the sand and change the mask’s shape. Try to keep the plaster layer about an inch thick.
6. 6. Tie a knot, to act as an anchor, about a half inch from each end of a piece of your string or wire. After a couple of minutes, when the plaster begins to thicken, push the ends of the string or wire into the back of the mask to harden in place as a hanger when the plaster dries.
Sand Cast Bass
Sand-cast Bass
There’ll be no lamenting about the one that got away in this fish story. Cast right on the beach from plaster and assorted found treasures, this fine specimen makes a unique and lasting souvenir.
| CRAFT MATERIALS: | |
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Shells, sea glass, pebbles, or other beach finds |
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1 (4.4-pound) box of plaster of Paris |
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Water (fresh or seawater) |
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Beach bucket or other container and a stick for mixing the plaster |
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Spray bottle |
| Time needed: Weekend Project | |
1. Dig a flat fish shape in moist sand about 2 inches deep (ours was 15 inches long and 9 ½ wide). While working and molding the sand, use a spray bottle to mist the sand so that the mold will hold its shape.
2. Arrange shells (facedown), sea glass, pebbles, and other beach finds in the mold to create scales, gills, and other fish features. Gently press the items down to anchor them in the sand so they won’t move when you add the plaster of Paris.
3. Mix some plaster, making it thick and creamy so it will not run under the items in your mold (we used 7 cups of plaster and about 3 ½ cups of water). Very gently pour the plaster into the mold, filling it slightly more than halfway.
4. When the plaster has set up enough to hold together but is still not too firm (generally an hour), dig the sand away from the fish and gently brush away any flaws and excess sand. Handle it gingerly until completely cured (about 24 hours).
7. 7. Unmold your mask. The plaster will set up, depending on its thickness, in about ten minutes. It is a good idea to dig the mold away from the mask rather than yank the mask out, because any unset objects are more likely to stay put. It is also a good idea to take out the mask before it is completely hardened. (The plaster gets hot while setting; remove it when it is cool enough to handle.)
8. 8. Wash your mask off. Carry it to the ocean and gently, gently wash away any flaws before they set completely. You will have a few moments to manipulate the plaster’s surface (cleaning off, digging in, rubbing away excess sand) to get the result you want.
9. 9. Place all the masks face up to admire and let them sit awhile to completely harden. You may sell them to unsuspecting tourists if you wish.
10. Hints:Open eyes and mouths, teeth, and hair look great but require engineering, and firm sand, if you want them to hold their place. If you bury feathers, seaweed, or rope in the bottom of the mold so that enough projects up for the plaster to grip, they will dangle or stick out from the mask without being completely embedded. Plaster is cheap and the props are limitless, so feel free to experiment.
Tips:
1. A standard box or plastic bucketful, about $5, will make three to six masks, depending on the amount used for each.
2. The plaster remains workable for only a short time, so the container should not be too big lest it set up before you can pour it. A half-gallon milk carton with the top sliced off works fine.
3. Find a good site to cast your molds. The ideal spot to work seems to be the moist, hard-packed strip just above the wet tidal sand. Be careful not to work so close to the water that incoming waves can destroy your molds or wash over your setting plaster. The setting takes only about ten minutes, but if the tide is approaching, life can get tense.
Sculpted Dune Buggies
A well-sculpted sand castle is a joy to behold, but here’s a beach craft your kids will really get into. This two-seater dune buggy has all the options: sand dollar headlights, a Frisbee steering wheel, a driftwood windshield, and a pebble license plate.
1. Get your assembly line rolling by helping your kids pile up a big mound of sand and pack it down firm. Now, start sculpting the body. Keep in mind the old artist’s trick: Working from the top down, carve away anything that doesn’t look like a dune buggy.
2. For our model, we rounded the car’s hood and trunk; carved fat tires into the sides; and dug out a seat, a slanted dashboard, and a hole where the driver’s and passenger’s feet fit comfortably.
3. Once the basic shape is in place, your kids can add the trim: tire treads, driftwood windshield and bumpers, a shell hood ornament, a beach grass antenna, a towel seat cover, or whatever else they dream up.
4. As a last step, they can fill ‘er up with shell gasoline, smooth out a highway and hit the open road.
And lastly but definitely not least, the beach checklist!
MUST HAVE:
Wallet and/or purse and cash (sometimes we forget the most obvious things)- Credit cards and/or traveler’s checks (plus list of numbers of both)
- ID or driver’s license
- Car and house keys (plus duplicate sets kept in different bags)
- Eyeglasses and/or contact lenses (plus lens cleaner)
- Watch
- Medical insurance cards
- Prescriptions and other medications
- Itineraries, tickets and reservation confirmations
- Maps and directions
- Books and magazines for kids and adults
- Toys, playing cards, small games
- Disposable wipes (or put damp paper towels in zippered plastic bags)
- First-aid kit (see separate packing list)
CLOTHES AND BEACH ITEMS:
- Complete change of clothes for each person per day (think cool, comfortable clothing)–though if you are renting a place with laundry facilities, you may be able to get away with less
- Lightweight sweater or jacket and long pants for cooler evenings
- Swimsuits (two per person, so you’ll always have a dry one)
- Beach towels (again two per person is ideal)
- Beach cover-ups or roomy T-shirts (to throw on over swimsuit when you’ve had enough sun)
- Baseball caps or wide-brim hats (to protect faces from sun)
- Sunglasses with UV protection for adults
- Sandals (rubber, plastic or waterproof are best)
- Waterproof sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher (bring along enough to allow for liberal re-application even if it is waterproof)
- Lip balm with sunscreen
- Aloe vera gel
- Body lotion for after-sun
- Insect repellent (some sunscreens for kids contain insect repellent and vice versa)
- Anti-itch cream (for bug bites)
- Large beach bag for toting above items (a mesh bag won’t allow sand to collect)
- Cooler with water, other beverages and watery fruits such as grapes (stay hydrated!)
- Water safety devices for young swimmers (be sure these are intended as such and check beach regulations for use)
FUN IN THE SUN:
- Buckets and shovels
- Sand castle molds (use empty deli containers, yogurt cups or two-liter plastic bottles with the upper half cut off)
- Frisbee, paddle ball, inflatable beach ball and other simple beach toys
- Inflatable flotation devices (check safety regulations)
- Kite
- Camera and film
- Zippered plastic bags for collecting shells (or collecting wet suits after a day trip to the beach)
NICE TO HAVE:
- Folding beach chairs
- Beach umbrella (some beaches and hotels rent these)
- Large family-size blanket or quilt to spread out on beach
TOILETRIES:
- Toothbrushes, toothpaste, dental floss and mouthwash
- Deodorant
- Combs, brushes, hair accessories, blow dryer (if hotel does not provide one)
- Shampoo and conditioner
- Shaving supplies
- Cosmetics
- Nail clippers, scissors and emery boards
- Tweezers
- Cotton balls and/or swabs
- Feminine hygiene items
- FOR BABY:
Car seat
Diaper bag
Disposable diapers
Changing pad
Baby powder and lotion
Zippered plastic bags
Wet wipes
Bathing supplies
Nursing pads and burp pads
Bibs
Baby food and spoon
Bottles, nipples and caps
Formula and/or juice
Pacifiers
Collapsible stroller with canopy or umbrella
Front or back child-carrying pack, or sling style
Blankets
Waterproof sheets
Bathing supplies
Large plastic bags for wet clothes (can also be used as a changing pad in a pinch)
That will teach him.
A man came home from work and found his three Children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty Food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding Into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, Breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog Food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lays under the table, and a Small pile of sand wasspread by the back door.
 He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over Toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried She might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, Scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a Heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What Happened here to day?” She again smiled and answered, “You know every Day when you come home from work, and you ask me what in the world I do all Day?”
“Yes,” was his incredulous reply. She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
The most effective birth control.
“The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids.”
Jill Bensley
